Drunken old ladies and the things they’ll do for more booze.

I was at Spouts today, waiting in line for another coffee sample, when I heard a clicking noise coming from the sample counter. I looked over and saw an old lady (at least 70) pouring Irish Country Cream from a bottle which, until recently, had been sealed and for sale, into her sample.

I thought about what might have been going on in the mind of this raging-alcoholic grandmother. My conclusion is this: when you’re so used to opening bottles of alcohol without asking questions or checking pricetags, you’ve achieved one of two things: total insanity, or total enlightenment. If you finally understand that nothing in this world actually belongs to any person, you probably understand that sealed, for sale bottles of Irish Country Cream fall into the category of “things in this world”, and are thus free game for drunken senior citizens… This woman is either insane, in which case I regret not having alerted the nearby clerk to her utter disregard for laws, manners, and common courtesy, or it could be that she is a sage, in which case I am astounded by her great wisdom…

“Shine on you crazy [alcoholic granny]”
I want to know your thoughts on this highly-intiguing subject… Well, I’m intrigued… If you’re not, it’s probably because you never experienced the incredible wisdom of a member of both AARP, and weekly AA meetings.


2 Responses to “Drunken old ladies and the things they’ll do for more booze.”

  1. Bethany Says:

    You are absolutely insane. But hilarious.

  2. Kristi Says:


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